Unit 6- Loving Kindness - Integral Assessment

The universal loving-kindness exercise was not as relaxing as I thought it was going to be. Instead it made me feel very small and weak.  After a few minutes I did start to open my mind to others but felt this helplessness, like I couldn't help anyone, but felt a need to anyway. The integral assessment was a little different. I felt like I was taking a little deeper look within myself. Perhaps looking with in and trying to see yet not judge takes a little practice. We are our own worst enemy. But, I discovered in my assessment that I sometimes expect too much of others. I push myself therefore I expect others to do the same. This is not entirely fair and quite judgemental on my part. Now I need to learn forgiveness. I think I discovered that I need to focus on being more open minded. I always thought I was open minded but now maybe I am not so open to others as I once thought. Until I learn to let go of being judgemental I will not truly learn to heal. I think this builds like anger and creates an ugliness within that I would like to let go of. I think I would like to practice the universal loving kindness exercise to gain more focus and intentional thought. I think continually practicing any meditaiton practices will help me to learn to become more and more focused. Becoming more focused will help me to accomplish my goal of becoming less judgemental and more of a loving kindness type of person. True healing starts from within.

Mary